Friday, May 11, 2007

Girls, girls, girls

Remember that old Beastie Boys song? No? Me neither. :)

So, this whole motherhood thing can suck sometimes. Before you blast me, listen closely. I do not have the ability that some mothers have to just sit by and let my kids learn life's hardest lessons without interference. I just don't.

I've never liked girls. I'm not driving home my heterosexuality here, I mean I've never been one to have lots of girl friends. There's a reason for that. Girls are the most hateful beings ever created. They will manipulate you. Talk about you behind your back. Use cutting comments to make you feel horrible about something that they are actually insecure about. Play mind games. The list could go on and on. Really, it could.

Now I have a girl of my own. Remember this? She's can be a fireball. At home. But, around other kids, she's a little girl who is eager to please and wants to make friends. I've seen bigger girls make fun of her hair and clothes in such a way that she thought they were being her friend, all the while they were giggling and making fun of her. I've seen a girl her age gather all the lego blocks at the table and dare her with a look so evil to touch even one. I've heard almost every day she attends a local preschool of the girl there who pushes her and then gets her friend to join in and make fun of her. You know what she said to me one day? "Mom, they are still my best friends, even if they aren't always nice?" SHE'S ALMOST FOUR. I'm so not looking forward to junior high, where the venom is even more potent.
My heart breaks at her innocence. I want to tell her that I'll take care of all of it and that I'll talk to the mom's of all of those girls and make it all better for her. But, it's not the right thing to do, at least not always.

Yesterday, I was chatting with two other moms who have girls older than Sister, one in elementary and one in junior high. The stories they tell reassure me that I want to lock my (mostly) sweet girl up and never let anyone break her heart again. I want to protect her from all of those things that will make her doubt herself. From the words that will be said in junior high but will sting to her core for the rest of her life. Yeah, I've got a little emotional baggage in that area and I want to keep her from it.

My hat is off to you if you are a mom who has this ability to sit back and allow them to learn the hard lessons. Can you teach me? And, can you say a prayer that any more children born to me will be boys because I can't take this girl stuff!

While you're at it, visit Chris over at Notes from the Trenches because she's going through it, too. As grown up girls who dislike girls, we have to stick together.

2 comments:

  1. Oh man - I have 2 girls and I fear all of this - seriously FEAR it. I actually am a huge fan of girlfriends and have been very blessed (see my most recent post regarding brooke shields and tupperware) but i was lucky, and even with that i still had the torment and anguish. I recall there is some book out there on how to teach self esteem/confidence to your daugher, i want it and need to use it as a bible. God help us ! My friends who have boys, i see them all jealous that i have the girls in dresses/bows etc and i think just want for the teenage years and how happy you will be with no girls.

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  2. Let me tell you, after the night I spent with my two female cousins (12 & 13) Bebe is being put in a bubble.

    And, I love the Beastie Boys song, it's on my iPod.

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