Saturday, September 22, 2007

We're Getting There

Kat asked me yesterday how we're doing with Big Daddy being gone and I realized I haven't said much about it really since he left. You know, except that post that I spit out in the midst of my sadness. We are two weeks in now and it is proving to drag by. Everyone said that the first two weeks would be the hardest and I'm counting on them to be right. The first weekend, I kept us so busy that I barely had time to think. I thought the people who said the first two weeks would be hard were wimps. Then, the first days of school came for both kids and I was S.A.D. Then, I got all spun up to host a little shindig here (read: obligatory military wife Pampered Chef party) and was so busy planning and getting the house ready for that that I didn't have time for sadness.

Then, it was all over and the house was clean and quiet. Then, I had a rock hit the windshield of the car while I was driving with the kids and in addition to scaring us all to death, cracked the windshield in a mighty way. That was all yesterday. Once the kids went down for nap, I pretty much hit rock bottom. I was praying with all my might, telling God that I just don't think I can do this without Big Daddy. I miss him so much that my insides ache when I think of him. We haven't been able to talk as much as I thought we would and email "conversations" can be tricky with the time difference. I know, it could be worse. His deployment could be longer. He could be in a much more dangerous place. None of that makes me feel better in the moments that I just want to hold him.

I did get to talk to him yesterday afternoon and today is a new day. (A new day in which I cut the grass ALL.BY.MYSELF!!) So, to make a long story even longer, I'm Ok. I think, maybe, we'll get to the point where I don't cry when the kids are asleep and the house gets quiet...maybe. Truth be told, I've only had a couple of really hard days and yesterday was one of them. Thank you for asking, Kat....I hope I didn't make you wish you hadn't. :) I promise to all of my readers that I won't be whiny through this whole deployment. This is it. If everyone is right, two weeks have passed and I should be home free. Smooth sailing and happy posts from here on out. Ok, I can't promise that but I can promise not to whine all the time!

9 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you answered my burning question...hehe! I'm nosey like that.

    Seriously though, I've had you in my thoughts. My husband wasn't in the military, but he was gone on business trips ALL the time and I know how hard it is to do everything, everyday by yourself. I hope you know that none of us would mind if you need to vent here. It's just us girls (I think) and we certainly understand about those down times. I can say that since I'm having one myself. Thanks for being there for me. I'm here for you. Anytime.

    Extra hugs!
    Kat

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  2. Heather

    Not a day goes by that you aren't on my mind. I've had a tough couple weeks and I spend most of my day thinking I can't wait until hubs comes home..... then I tell my self to suck it up cause it could be worse - Tom could be gone for 4 months instead of 8 hours.

    Lay it out there. We don't think you're whining! We're here for you!

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  3. Hi Heather. I found you through Kat's blog. I don't think you are whining. My hubby has been working late a lot so we don't see him much. He was in the Navy too for 15 years. Hang in there! I hope it gets easier. It is hard when you feel like a single parent. I have been feeling that way too. I even posted about it the other day. I wanted to email you too about your blog. :)

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  4. Hi Heather,
    My name is Gloria but most call me Glo.
    I saw you name on Sgt&Mrs Hub. Thought I stop by and say Hi and to tell you I'm here for you any time. My husband just got home a year ago too. So I've been there and done that.
    Our prayers are with you and your family.
    We are here for you always. Never think your whining. Every one needs to vent at times. Just remember you are W-O-M-A-N and can do anything...HOOAH!!!
    Glo

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  5. Hi Heather, I found you through Sgt & Mrs Hub's blog. My husband has been deployed to Iraq the past 14 months and returned to the states this past weekend...I haven't seen him yet, as he's not due to be HOME till this next weekend..but I've talked to him. I've been there and I can tell you it does get easier. There will still be days down the road that will hit you out of the blue, but you'll make it. I'm here anytime! Shoot me an email at gingerbales@sbcglobal.net or visit me on the blog www.gingerbales.blogspot.com

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  6. Oh Heather.

    You are in my thoughts constantly, and anytime you need to "whine" go right ahead, cause we love you - and don't consider this whining!

    You are stronger than you know.

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  7. Blogs helped me get through Daniel's deployment in a mighty way! There were a bunch I found that were going through the same feelings, and all the ups and downs of a deployment.
    I know all of us ladies will support you in the best way we can, from a computer screen!

    I hope you keep the honest posts coming no matter how ugly they may
    seems - we care!!

    -Andrea

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  8. I'll be in your shoes soon. Maybe we can help each other get through this!!

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  9. I am thinking and praying for you and your family. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

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