Friday, May 30, 2008

Things I'm Constantly In Search For But Haven't Found Yet

I will add to this list as time goes on because every day, I am reminded that there is something else that I'm on a constant quest to find.

1. A good fitting pair of jeans. I'm a curvy girl* and if I happen to find jeans that fit well in the hips, they are too big in the waist. And, what's with all the jolly green giant jeans now? They are way too low cut at the top yet very, very long at the bottom. I'm 5'6 and would love to have jeans that don't trail behind me like Princess Diana's wedding dress.

2. Mascara. Is it too much to ask that a mascara make you lashes look longer and fuller without clumping them together in a way that makes you look like you are sporting tarantulas on your lids? Don't even get me started on the way most of them are leaving little black flecks under my eyes after the first hour of wear. Also? If you are a mascara company, take note. Stop making the brushes all bendy and fragile. I hate those. My mascara brush doesn't need to bend at a 90 degree angle when I try to put it back in the tube.

3. A pillow. If Big Daddy ever commented on my blogs, he'd be all, "AMEN, SISTER." on here right now. I have a basement full of pillows that I loved for five full minutes and then hate. I need fluffy and soft. No lumps. And, no. I won't pay $100 for a pillow just to get all those things. Hence, my search continues.



*I just read an article where Eva Longoria described herself as "curvy". This is not the kind of curvy I am. She's curvy in a "kebab skewer" type of way. I'm curvy in a "I have a booty and childbearing hips" kind of way. Totally different. Nice try, Eva.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Summer Break

Tomorrow is the official last day of school around our house. Brother actually finished up his Mother's Day Out program last week and Sister will no longer be a preschooler after tomorrow. That last part? The part about no longer being a preschooler? It's killing me. We'll talk about that later. I'm wearing mascara right now so we can't talk about it because the ugly cry that comes along with talking about it and mascara just don't go well together.

Brother has been talking about "Summer Break" for a few weeks now as if it were some huge event that we need to pack a bag and picnic lunch to attend. He's been more than a little excited to know that we are getting closer and closer.

Tonight as we were putting him to bed, he needed to talk a little more about Summer Break.

"Dad, I wish you won't go to work anymore. It's time for your Summer Break."

Oh, dear boy. I wish. Wouldn't that be great? If we all got summers off and it was one big party complete with swimming, picnics and riding bikes? I'm voting for Brother for President.

As for my weekend of smelling babies, it was fantastic! My sweet nephew is beautiful and tiny. My Sister has the tiniest babies. They are full term and perfectly healthy but teeny tiny. He weighed only 6 lbs. at birth. Her other son was only 4 lb. 11 oz. at birth. Lucky girl.

I'll try to get to downloading pictures to share with you but for now, our main laptop has decided to take a Summer Break of it's own. Complete with a virus. So, once that's back up and running, I'll be back in business. Wait until you see him, you will melt. My uterus groaned all weekend begging for another baby.

Sister spent a good deal of time holding him, also. At some point, she was staring down at his little face and told me, "Mom, I really want another baby at our house. I will help you with everything. I'll hold her, feed her, sing to her and everything."

My Mom chimed in, "What about changing diapers, Sister? Will you help with that?"

She didn't skip a beat with her answer, "No. I will not change diapers. That's just gross. Mom can do that."

A girl has to have limits, you know.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

So Excited

This weekend, I'm going to do something that I've been waiting all week to do. My younger sister had a baby this past Monday....a beautiful baby boy. I've been itching to get down there and hold that sweet little thing and smell his fuzzy little baby head. My kids are even excited about it and Brother hardly ever gets excited over babies.

I'll be back Monday and I'll try to capture some of that sweet baby smell to share with you all. No promises, though. I just might hog him all to myself.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Oh Yes, They Call Him the Streak

After dinner, Sister and I walked over to our neighbor's house to ask if they'd like to join us for ice cream. We were standing on her porch chatting when the front door to my house opened and I saw Brother coming out. I could only see from the middle of his chest up and I could tell he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Me to Sister, "Your brother has taken off his shirt."

Just then, Brother darts out the door and starts running toward us. Completely. Nekkid. Wearing nothing but a huge grin and his excited face.

I cracked up laughing. Then I remembered that he's my kid. I started walking toward him and the little darling took off running in the opposite direction down the sidewalk.

To make sure you have the mental image correct let me re-paint the picture. Three year old boy sans clothes running down the sidewalk with a mom laughing screaming running after him. I finally caught up to him, picked him up and headed back to our house.

At some point, Big Daddy opens the front door and realizes what's going on. He gives me a weird look like this whole shenanigan was my idea and gets Brother inside and dressed.

My neighbor was doubled over when I got back to her house. Who am I kidding? So was I. Until she reminded me that we live across the street from the headquarters building on base and our whole street is constantly under video surveillance. Oy.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Bittersweet

Guess where I am? I'll give you a hint. I am not at home, not with my sweet husband and beautiful children. I'm not folding laundry or cooking dinner. I'm not wiping noses and behinds. Most of all, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.


I left yesterday for a short weekend away...all ALONE. I'm in a tourist town just about half an hour from my house and, let me say it again, all ALONE.


While Big Daddy was deployed, we talked at length about me going away by myself when he got back. When he came back, we started adjusting to being a family again and it just didn't happen. I'll admit that a big part of why it didn't happen was because I just couldn't bring myself to do it.


I'm all talk, apparently. I talk big about taking this great "Heather Weekend" and then when it comes time to actually make a plan and go, I turn into a big wimp. I can't do it.


Big Daddy wouldn't let me out of it this time. We realized that this was our only free weekend for a while and he actually got me to hit the "Submit" button on a hotel reservation before I could make another excuse to get out of it. We went to bed that night and as I thought about it, I felt like I was going to be sick. Ditto for the next morning when it was time to pack.


At any rate, here I am sitting in a hotel room doing whatever I want, with no schedule and with no one that needs me. I've walked around historic downtown, to the farmer's market, outlet malls and then to see a movie. It's been amazing to have this time. I've had fun. I've spent time just browsing stores that I usually either avoid or rush through. I woke up this morning whenever my body told me to, not someone else's body jumping on my bed telling me that the sun is awake and I should be too.



Yet, I've spent the last 24 hours teetering on mixed emotions. Feeling rejuvenated and calm one minute. Feeling guilty and sad that I miss my family the next. Why is that? Why do Moms feel guilty about doing things for themselves? I subscribe to the philosophy that taking time like this makes us better moms. I preach it to my girlfriends and tell them how much they need it. How it will make them feel like they are refreshed and ready to tackle motherhood with less frustration and anxiety. I needed to take a dose of my own medicine.



I'm thankful that I have this time. I'm thankful that I have a husband who encourages me to take time for myself to remember who I am and the things I like to do. I'm thankful that I have two beautiful children to go home to tomorrow who will be so happy to see me. I'm just so thankful.



Now, if this pesky guilt would just go away.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

100

This is my 100th post! It only took me a little over a year to get here but we made it! In honor of the big one-oh, I decided to do a little something special. Do you like the new look? I'm loving it! Beth, over at BeDesign made it a lot prettier around here. Let me tell you, she is one creative lady and I'm in awe of the things she can do! I'm notoriously vague when dealing with certain things (blog design, wedding plans, hair styles...the list could go on and on) but Beth wasn't afraid of that. It's like she was inside of my head and knew my personality.

Just take a look at my other blog....you will be impressed!! I can't stop looking at it!

If you need a new blog design, I highly suggest checking out BeDesign. Thanks again, Beth!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Full Circle

Every year, Sister's preschool has an end of year program. Each class is sitting on the stage and takes their turn singing a song that they've practiced for the parents. At the end of the program, each child walks to a microphone and says their first and last name before exiting the stage.

Last year, Sister's teacher asked us to talk to her and encourage her to say her name in the mic at the program because she was so shy at the practices that she just didn't want to do it. We talked about it and came up with the plan to make sure she was sitting next to her friend who was really outgoing rather than the one that was really shy and also struggling with the name saying. The plan worked and Sister said her name at the end of the program! We were so proud and it's been something she has talked about since.

"Remember that time last year when I said my name at the microphone? That was so cool."

We do remember. What I remember most was that the second I heard her name over the speaker from a voice full of confidence and pride, I realized how much she'd grown without my permission.

Until that moment, she was still a toddler in my eyes. Sure, she was almost four but she was still undoubtedly my baby. Something clicked for me that night and I knew she was no longer a baby.

Tears came to my eyes and I cried. I was so proud and happy for her. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that a small part of me was also sad at the thought of her independence.

We had teacher conferences with her teacher last week. Her teacher this year is an amazing woman. She's bright and bubbly and oozes love on every single kid in that class. Not an easy feat, if you ask me, since many of those kids are oozing things on their own. And, it ain't love. At the conference, her teacher reminded us that the program was coming up. I braced myself for the speech about how we needed to talk to her about how important it was to speak into the microphone and say her name.

"I'm hoping to sit Sister next to one of the kids in the class who seems to be really shy about being on stage. He seems to be more willing to say his name with her next to him since she's so confident."

Come again?

Yes, she's grown so much since last year. I'm both beaming and sobbing on the inside as we prepare for her very last year of preschool to come to an end. Why can't she be almost five for just a little longer?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Brothers and Sisters

Recently, we went out to eat at a local Chick-Fil-A restaurant with an outdoor play area. The place was packed with families and kids were bouncing around from place to place celebrating the fact that the weather was finally allowing them some outside play time.

As we finished our meal, our kids raced up the ladder to the top of the tunnel slide and while we waited for them at the bottom, I noticed a young boy hiding around the corner at the bottom of the slide. He was probably at least fourteen years old and my first thought was that he was too old to be there and I mentally prepared myself to tell him to watch out for the younger kids.

Before I got the chance, a little girl close to my daughter's age (around 5) came down the slide with her bright eyes searching for someone. The young man playfully peaked around the side of the slide and she squealed with delight as he reached over and tagged her. Then, he pretended to be just a little slower than her as she raced back up the ladder and he took his place back at the bottom of the slide to wait for her. He glanced at me and smiled and then continued to wait and repeated the game countless times before their parents called them to leave. Each time they'd meet each other at the bottom of that slide, the joy on their faces was evident and familiar.

I have three siblings whom I love dearly and would love to see more often. The games we played when we were growing up are memories that can still make me laugh in the most solemn of times. When we are all together, the stories and jokes we share remind me that the bond of siblings is like none other. No matter how annoying they were to me at times (I am the oldest by at least five years), all of my favorite memories involve them. Often, one word can between us can evoke uncontrollable laughter, leaving those around us unsure whether we are intoxicated or borderline insane.

I watch my own children and marvel at the relationship they have. Sure, there are days when they fight, whine and compete with each other. That's a part of the relationship, too. There are more times that they are laying side by side on the floor reading a book together or running and laughing at something that no one else gets. They make up games and play by their own rules. They will defend each other and rat each other out in the same breath. They can be equally helpful and a hindrance to each other. At the end of the day, they are still best friends.

They were recently having a conversation about when they are older and they get married. I listened as they chatted about what kinds of things they would do as grown ups. Suddenly, I realized that they thought that they would eventually be married to each other. I explained that they would each marry other people that they probably didn't even know yet and have their own separate houses. Both of them were horrified by the thought of not being together as adults. They couldn't fathom that a day would come where time and distance would separate them and their daily lives may not intersect. They still don't believe me when I tell them this.

The relationship that siblings share is so unique. I feel blessed to share that relationship with three amazing people and I am so thankful that Sister and Brother will share this bond for the rest of their lives. I pray every day that their relationship stays as sweet as it is now and that as a parent, I will be faithful to encourage them to remain the best of friends.