Today was a crappy day. The kind of day where one thing after another keeps going wrong. Any one of those things wouldn't be enough to ruin your day but add them all together and you get a day when you'd rather just go back to bed and start over.
After struggling through the day, we got to the critical point that comes every afternoon: after school but not yet dinner time. During this time ever single day, the little people in my house fall apart.
"She hit me!"
"He is looking at my stuff!"
"I need pribacy (privacy) and she won't leave me alone!"
"He stole my toy!"
You get the picture. We were at that point this afternoon when I decided to join the ranks of the Tired and Falling Apart. I separated the kids and forbid them to even look at each other. I stomped my foot. I pointed my finger. I yelled.
Oh yes, I did.
When I finally left the room to make dinner, they were playing nicely together. It was then that the guilt set in. I lost my cool over my kids acting like...kids. It has always been a pet peeve of mine to see adults chastise kids because they aren't acting like adults. I have sworn never to do it. Yet, here I was standing in my kitchen on the verge of tears because I allowed a bad day to get the best of me.
I'm not saying that I'm usually perfect or that I never lose my cool. Let's be real. It's just that I knew as I stood there that my meltdown earlier was because of me and not because of anything they did or didn't do.
By the time Big Daddy got home, I explained the whole thing to him near tears.
"This doesn't make you a bad Mom," he offered.
I knew this. I really did.
As Moms, we tend to beat ourselves up over the tiniest of decisions, words and actions. We expect nothing short of perfection from ourselves and when we don't deliver (because it's impossible!) it takes forever to get over it and move on.
The difference between being a Good Mom and a Good Enough Mom is realizing that you messed up, apologizing for it and moving on. I spent the afternoon feeling like Good Enough Mom was miles above me. I assure you that tonight I will fall asleep thankful to be a Good Mom.