Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I Can't Believe I Never Told You Guys About This

Shortly before Brother was to turn two, we decided to give him a big party and invite all of our family and close friends from out of town since we hadn't seen them in a while. We were all so excited as the date approached and I was in a frenzy getting things ready.

The night before the big party, I had all of our guests tucked into their air mattresses and was about to crash for the night. After I took out my contacts and washed my face, I looked into the mirror and realized that I'd forgotten one very important step in the "getting ready for the big party" process.

Waxing.


I looked like Burt from Sesame Street, so thick was my uni-brow.


I was way past the point where tweezing would make a difference unless I wanted to skip sleep and stay up all night plucking. I glanced around the bathroom, looking for something, anything, to help me.


That's when I saw it.



Big Daddy's trimmer. Trimmer of what, I'm not exactly sure. I didn't actually care at the time. I decided that it was just what I needed to go from Burt to Perfectly Arched in time to get a good night's rest.
I did a quick clean up and went to bed, satisfied that I'd done a good enough job to get me through the weekend.
The next morning, I hummed "Happy Birthday" as I applied my makeup. Picking up my mascara, I carefully applied it to my right eyelashes. Perfect, if I do say so myself. Moving on to the left eye. What the heck is wrong with this mascara brush? Dang it, I think I must have broken it when I dipped it back into the tube just now.
No, wait a second. MY EYELASHES. WHERE ARE MY EYELASHES?
Yes, friends, I accidentally shaved off half of my eyelashes while trimming up my brows before bed the night before. Apparently, the blade on that itty bitty trimmer isn't as itty bitty as I thought.
I combed my bangs down over that eye and tried to cover up as much as I could with mascara on the nubs I had left. I decided that it would be my secret.
The problem with keeping my own secrets is that I just can't. I don't know if you've noticed but I tend to over-share. While setting out the food, I thought I caught my friend looking at me a little funny. I was sure she'd noticed so I decided to confess to everyone right then and there. They all got a good laugh and came over to inspect the nubs a little closer.
Turns out my friend was just admiring my new bangs.

3 comments:

  1. I once accidentally set my bangs on fire in front of my brand new boss. Then I tried to pretend it didn't happen, even though you could totally smell the scorched hair.

    That's completely unrelated but this story made me think of it.

    And you think YOU overshare?

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  2. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious, bejewell!! I love it.

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  3. That is too funny! And, I might add, a bit frightening. I cringed when I pictured you getting so close to your EYES! I, too, have a little confession... when I was 12 years old, super flat hair was so "in." Hair like Cher's. I was given orders by my parents to NOT iron it... but of course I did. But instead of ironing, I scorched one side. I could smell it. It was awful. Singed. I had to cut about 6 inches off, and it still looked horrible for months. AND I was in deep, deep trouble at home.

    BUT trouble with the parents was nothing like the horror of hair too short in 7th grade!

    Great story. Are there others?! We're waiting!

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