Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I am my own worst critic.

I have a habit of pointing out my flaws to others before they have the chance to realize that they exist.

Often, I can't see who I really am because I'm studying my shortcomings so closely. It's nearsightedness of the worst kind.

I'm so much harder on myself than I am on others. In fact, I have criticised things about myself that I would admire about others.

It occurred to me almost a year ago this type of behavior is not only bad for me, it is horrible for my daughter. She is watching everything I do and taking notes. Some of the things that she sees in me will form the woman she will become. If I'm constantly critical of my weight, my hair, my loud voice or my undying love of musicals, what does that teach her? I want her to respect me and to love my quirks but more importantly, I want her to respect herself and love her own quirks.

I'm learning to embrace my flaws. I'm learning that maybe, just maybe, the things that I think are flaws aren't. Instead, they are little parts of what makes me who I am. They are things that the rest of the world probably wouldn't notice if I'd stop asking them to. Best of all, I'm learning that if my daughter grows up to be like me, she will be a woman who is tremendously blessed, loved and unapologetically herself.


  1. Me too... me too. I need to work on this area of my life to. I need to learn to be less apologetic for who I am.

    Great post, Heather.


  2. And smart. Don't forget that part.

    Well said Heather.


    (I miss your visits.)

  3. I agree! Most people won't notice the things that bother you unless you point them out. You really have to do your best to see yourself in a positive light.

  4. So true. Thanks for the thoughtful words.

    BTW, I LOVE musicals too. I got 7 brides for 7 brothers and Brigadoon for christmas. Too bad we do not live closer so we could watch them together... and Laugh..and sing along AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!

  5. ah yes, I think we all are a little like this...

  6. As I've written so many times to you... your wisdom is way beyond your years. Children DO pick up everything we say and feel... even through humor and innuendo. While it is very important to be ourselves... it is, as you say, so important to openly embrace our differences and what makes us unique. We can work on changing some things, like eating healthier to live more enriched lives... and exercising for the same reason... and doing these things WITH our daughters (and sons!). We can read more and volunteer more and laugh really loud. We can experiment with activities that may be outside our comfort zones. We can ALWAYS be positive when discussing or commenting on something we may want to change or try to change. It is the positivity that will creep into their lives... and this is so very important.

    And hey, we may even land on Broadway with our musical talents. NOT! I love musicals, too!!

  7. Hi. This is Erica from Butterfly Kisses and 5 Minutes for Mom. THANK YOU for this post. I am the same way. I am so very critical of myself and do the same thing you do, point out my flaws. I never thought about how that could affect my 5 year old daughter, and now I want to also work on it.

  8. This was a great blog. I'm the same way. It's nice to hear someone else admit they are too. We are always our own worst critics.

  9. This just socked me in the gut. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I just had my first daughter and I long so much to not pass many things I think about myself on to her.


  10. Don't you wish we would all lay off of ourselves just a little bit? You ARE a great person and you should embrace you, there is no doubt she'll benefit so much for the love you are giving yourself. Great post, Heather.

  11. Oh, this sounds just like me! Even the undying love of musicals thing. HOW do I still feel so insecure? I'm a grown-up! Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in these feelings and reminding me to be mindful of how I act around my little ones.