Here is a list of things I do not currently have:
1. A clean house.
2. A small laundry pile.
3. Friends that live close enough to me to go out for coffee.
4. Family that lives close enough to stop by for dinner or play with the kids.
5. A ton of money that would allow me to get all of those things on my ever growing wish list. (Because when I think about numbers three and four too much, I just want to shop. Hey, it's better than drugs so don't judge.)
6. A very tone body and a love of running.
7. Eyes that don't have bags under them from a lack of sleep. A severe lack of sleep.
That seems like a pretty pitiful list doesn't it? It makes me sound like a spoiled brat in the worst way. I know these things yet I have had so many days lately when that ding dang list is the only thing I can focus on. I'll cry because I miss my coffee girls and I just plead with God to make another coffee night possible. With those same girls because let's face it, I haven't found any that can compare to them. I'll whine because the house is never picked up to my liking. Wah, wah, wah, my butt jiggles when I jump rope with the kids. Boo hoo, I am so tired.
Friends, I'm trying tonight to focus on a different list. I'm trying to readjust my thinking. Trying. Walk with me, will you?
1. I have a house. It's comfortable and it is a place that my kids love to play and run. Their toys and art work may litter every available surface and their fingerprints may be smeared on every mirror and window. Guess what? It let's me know that they love their home. It reminds me that my time as a mommy to these little people is fleeting and one day, I'll wish for those fingerprints to reappear on my mirrors just so I may catch a glimpse of their childhood again.
2. Sorry but even at my best, I can't make good out of a mountain of laundry. How about this? We have clothes to wear. That's the best I can do.
3. God has given me the greatest friends I could ever have imagined. To have had the honor of meeting them for coffee for two years straight is blessing enough to carry me through for the rest of my life. Those ladies are that awesome. Plus, I get to have phone conversations now with each of them that leave me refreshed and thankful that they are my people. I know I'll have people here soon (I'm trying!) but for now, this is enough.
4. I get to skip out on most of the family drama. That's a bonus, right? Sure, I may get the occasional phone call about what's going on but it almost never involves me directly and for that I'm thankful because I like life nice and boring. Plus, the time I do get with my family is so precious to me. I don't take for granted the time we have together and if I lived closer, I know I would.
5. Number five on the above list is just silly so I'm going to take this opportunity to just say that I'm blessed beyond measure and have more than I've ever dreamed of having.
6. Come on, now. We all have this one, right? If you don't, please don't tell me. This body has given birth to and nursed three babies. MIRACLE OF MIRACLES. If it jiggles, that's cool. I have come to
love like my curves lately. Seriously, I actually looked in the mirror today and thought, "I don't want to lose too much more of this baby weight because these curves are cute." I almost passed out when I heard myself think it. :) As for the stretch marks, let's just pretend those aren't there, mkay?
7. My reason for lack of sleep is the cutest little thing and I firmly believe that the reason she insists on getting up several times every night is just so she can spend a little extra time with me. To be honest, as crazy and not so attractive as this lack of sleep is making me, when she sleeps a little longer, I wake up and miss her so much that I secretly hope she'll wake soon. I'm my own worst enemy.
8. There's no number eight on the above list to go with this one because there isn't anything to complain about for him. Big Daddy is my best friend. I love him and am so thankful for him. I just think about him and I still get butterflies...this after ten years of marriage! (We celebrated ten years just last week and I wrote a beautiful post about our union...in my head. That's as close as I've been able to get to blogging lately. If you could only read some of the good stuff I've written up there lately!) Seriously, this man is amazing and I can't say anything else other than, YAY! He's mine!
See, I look at this new list and realize just how ridiculous the first list is. Also? Just how stupid the word list seems when you use it so many times in one post. I have so much to be thankful for and I just need to remind myself sometimes to shift focus. I need to focus on the haves rather than the have nots because in the end, it's the haves that matter most.