Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Fulfilled

There is a wonderful place in my heart for this blog. Well over a year before I actually began Running From the Little People, it was there, in that wonderful place. I would dream of what I wanted it to look like. I'd think of the things that I wanted to share and compose posts in my heart and pray that I'd have a place to share them one day.

I've always loved to write. In high school and college, when one of my teachers would assign a paper, I was secretly giddy while all of my classmates groaned. The chance to get my thoughts down on paper was enough to propel me to research any assignment to the fullest. I'm also an avid reader and a chatterbox. Apparently, words are my thing.

I wish I could tell you why I took such a long break from this space. This space that I dreamt of for so long and have loved so much. I started to question my direction when I attended a blogging conference last year. I had a great time at the conference hugging the necks of the amazing women I've grown to love through this world of blogging. The thing that surprised me was the intense evaluation that happened in my own heart after I left the conference. There was so much talk of finding your niche and using the right words to insure that your blog was successful that my head was spinning. Listen, there's a place for that and there are bloggers out there who are great at it but I left thinking that if I wasn't going to be one of those bloggers, then maybe I should just stick to my pen and pad journal on my nightstand.

Have I mentioned that I'm also a tad of an over-analyzer?

What followed was me struggling with my purpose for blogging. Then, I got pregnant! Yay! I was way too tired and too sick to blog with any regularity. Boo! Then we found out that we were moving. Yay! With less than a month's notice! Boo! We got to our new home and settled and before we knew it, baby was here! Yay! Again with the tired. Yoo! (That's a yay! and a boo! because the reason for the tired? She's really cute.)

For the last couple of months, the fog of craziness has been lifting and I find myself writing in my head again. If that doesn't make sense to you, just pretend that it does. Before last year's season of over-analyzing, pregnancy, moving, a new baby, I wrote in my head all the time. I was always thinking of things that I wanted to write and then suddenly, the voices in my head went quiet.

Stay with me here.

Big Daddy has been saying to me for months that he wishes I would blog again. I have ignored him completely until one night a couple of months back, I woke up in the middle of the night with a heart full of words. I had a full post written in my head before I could fall asleep again. I couldn't wait to share it with my blog friends. Doubt and fear crept in and I wondered if maybe I'd left this space quiet for too long and I should just leave it that way. I convinced myself that my love to write and my desire to journal this amazing time in my life with three adorable kids would be best kept to the (also dusty!) notebook on my nightstand.

However, my heart still longed to put my words here. Friends, the writing in my head has proven to be a very important part of who I am and I just can't abandon that longing in my soul to write, to share, to put words down that show my heart and then leap with joy when a kindred spirit says they understand!

This blog provides me with so much and I am ready to dust it off and get it running again. The voices in my head are too loud and too eager to ignore.

6 comments:

  1. Welcome back! I'm glad you are ready to share your wit, humor and intelligence with others. You are too funny and smart for me to keep you all to myself : )
    Love ya!

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  2. Aw, just through all those "you shoulds" out the window. Blog because you love it, who cares about what we're 'supposed' to do! :)

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  3. Whoop! Welcome back!

    I do the writing in my head too, and while many of things don't actually make it TO the blog I know they are there.

    So glad you are back!!

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  4. I've been watching for this day. Welcome back!

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  5. So, so, so glad you are back. I've missed you!!

    I think we stayed at the base you are stationed at... have I already told you that? I can't remember. If I hadn't been deathly ill I would have emailed you for a meet-up!!

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