Well Done, Son. Well done.

I don't have road rage.

No, really. I don't.

I do, however, think that stupid people should not be allowed to drive. Oh, I'm kidding. Everyone should be allowed to drive. As long as they follow my rules.

I have a habit of mumbling rude things under my breath at other drivers as I deem necessary. I try to keep it as much on the down low as possible because I'm rarely alone in the car and I don't want the Little People repeating something they've heard from me while I'm instructing folks on the proper use of the left lane. Or perhaps the turn signal. I'm just saying, people. It's there for a reason.

Recently, someone pulled out in front of me on a busy road, causing me to stop suddenly.


Oops. All three kids were with me. Thank goodness no one seemed to notice my name calling and they all remained silent.

For about twenty two seconds, at least.

Then, Brother piped up. "Uh, Mom?"

"Yes, buddy?"

"Have you ever wondered if the people in the other cars sometimes call you an idiot?"

Ah, my boy. You hold my heart in your hands. Your innocence is beautiful. You are grounded until you're twenty.